« The reason China isn't playing in the World Cup is because we lost to Hong Kong in one of our qualifying games. Hong Kong! That's like beating ourselves! »
« I have a dog and have visited your hospital in the past ... excellent staff ... has a bad case of ringworm. Hmm. Paul, we need to go wash our hands now. »
You know, I'm pretty sure I could live a full and complete life without ever having a ringworm infestation. It's doubtful that any fungus survived the trip through the US Postal Service, but I would rather be safe than sorry and spent a good five minutes scrubbing my hands at the nearest sink. Nice try, fellas, but you'll have to find someone else to be your host. I hope.