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what are you looking for?

Before having dinner with Wendy, Violet, and Tsukasa on Sunday I received a phone call from Victoria asking if I'd like to go out for a walk with her. As I was in the car with Sue at the time I could only say that it was an appealing idea but that I would call her back as soon as we'd made it home. We never actually went out for a walk, although we did meet at a café to do homework together - although it's worth noting that we're not in any of the same classes. While there Victoria mentioned how she wasn't very happy with her boyfriend and then not five minutes later she asked what it was that I found attractive in Violet and Wendy - a question that I was willing to accept at face value, but which a more cynical person might raise an eyebrow over considering this is coming from a girl who has said in the past that she liked me.

This has always been something that I've felt a little awkward discussing, as it's extremely difficult to come up with a list of characteristics to describe an individual - either real or hypothetical - that makes me feel differently than I would around a normal friend. Most of the time I'm stuck with talking about the things I cherish in my friendships, but that doesn't do much to distinguish between those relationships and that little bit more that creates a romantic spark toward another person. Victoria has never struck me as the type to accept an answer like that, so I named a few of the qualities that I liked in them both, and in doing so I realized that not only wasn't there any overlap in the things I said - which doesn't necessarily mean much - but, perhaps more importantly, that I haven't had any serious conversations with Wendy in all the time we've known each other.

Teasing each other has been fun - and I've always enjoyed being around her - yet it was also a surprise to think about how we've never touched on any philosophical or contentious subjects. In the last week I've had discussions with Violet ranging from nationalism to global commercialization and from polyandry to primatology. It's probably no surprise to anyone who has been reading my journal for a while that my curiosity extends to a number of different areas, and if I'm going to spend a lot of time around someone else it would be awfully nice if they shared a similar variety of interests. This is why Winnie and I don't talk anymore - since, in her own words, "I only want to think when I'm in class ... and maybe at work". There are people who think that way? Plus, I might be over-reacting, but hearing that from someone planning to be a teacher seems a little scary.

However, just because it hasn't happened yet doesn't mean that I'll never have an intriguing conversation with Wendy in the future. Goodness knows the current situation is a fair sight better than listening to Victoria prattle on and on about nothing in particular. The original question still remains though - what are you looking for?


( 7 comments — Leave a comment )
(Deleted comment)
Mar. 4th, 2006 11:29 pm (UTC)
It would be nice if that were the case, but after the events of this entry it seems unlikely that it will happen any time soon. Maybe next time?
(Deleted comment)
Mar. 5th, 2006 03:31 am (UTC)
No need to apologize - it's sad to think about, but not the end of the world. Plus, I still have "complications" in my life from spending time around Violet and Vangie (who has yet to be introduced in my journal).
(Deleted comment)
Mar. 7th, 2006 03:15 am (UTC)
It's certainly unexpected - after graduating from high school I had one relationship in eight years, now at university it looks like we're making up for lost time.

But yeah, I feel pretty lucky. :)
(Deleted comment)
Mar. 7th, 2006 08:16 pm (UTC)
Come on, it's only three girls. :P And I thought you weren't interested in a relationship right now - or is that because no one has caught your eye just yet?
(Deleted comment)
Mar. 8th, 2006 11:03 am (UTC)
What do you mean by not allowed? I wasn't supposed to date anyone until after my 16th birthday but didn't find that out until I overheard a conversation between my mom and sister at age 18. Hmm.

You can keep as large a stash as you'd like. My only request is that if I'm ever included you give me enough notice to pack a few things first. :P
Mar. 7th, 2006 10:42 pm (UTC)
3 girls, only for you... You must be quite a hottie :)
Did you realise that all the names of your friends begin with letters at the end of the alphabet? Violet, Victoria, Wendy... and i don't count the others!

Relationships are one hell of a mess
People you like don't like you the same way and vice versa.... So tiring.
It's hard to find someone who fits.
Mar. 11th, 2006 10:00 pm (UTC)
I've had one relationship in the eight years since I graduated from high school, so maybe this is making up for lost time? :D

While it's not anything deliberate on my part I have noticed the number of friends - especially girls - I have with names that begin with letters from the end of the alphabet. Maybe I need to go out and meet people from the other side of the alphabet to make things more balanced ..?

It is hard, and often quite a mess as well, but it's easy to forget about all of that when you do finally find the right person.
( 7 comments — Leave a comment )