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another night at home

I spoke with Victoria during her break from work not too long ago. From what she said during our conversation I get the impression that Violet would prefer to have some time to herself - which means the next few days will most likely feel like very lonely ones indeed. In a way it reminds me of what Violet was worried about when Victoria and Wendell first started flirting - if she wasn't around them that meant not being around any of her other friends from the same apartment. Of course this would happen the same day Derek made a remark on how he never saw me over the weekend.

One interesting thing about our talk was hearing Victoria describe how she felt seeing us together. At one point she mentioned how any time she sees Violet and me cooking in the kitchen it makes her wish that she could be as happy as we look. That when she hears the low murmur of us talking late at night she can sometimes make out words or sentences, and we sound not only interesting but interested in one another. It's a little strange to realize that this is someone else describing things - and someone who knows that we're not together.

I have no idea what to think anymore. It was only a week ago that Violet brought over her chess set on Valentine's Day and we spent more than three hours playing two matches of chess over tea.
* * * *

"Happiness is as a butterfly which, when pursued, is always beyond our grasp, but which if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you."

-- Nathanial Hawthorne

Comments

( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
lkw18
Feb. 22nd, 2006 06:22 pm (UTC)
oh paul, i'm sorry you're feeling like this :( you're not usually like this, so i know you'll be okay if that's any consolation.
samedi
Feb. 23rd, 2006 03:49 am (UTC)
It is a consolation, and I do appreciate your comment Linda. Thank you!
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )